love your wife as yourself

This morning, as I was driving to work, I thought hard about how I’ve been treating Elizabeth. Sometimes, I feel guilty for giving her a hard time, especially when it comes to making decisions, taking control of situations and thinking through about what needs and need not be done. I find myself flooding her with questions (it’s in my nature to question) which more of the time causes her to retreat, and find myself needing to draw her out again. In these instances, I never really knew if I had treated her right. I try my best, but that may not have been up to what God would’ve expect me to be.

I do, however, come to the realization of the need to love her more, for the shortcomings and flaws.

So I looked in the Word, to see what God expects of me as a husband (now, and in the future).

PMC Class #1

We attended the first PMC class last weekend on Saturday!

It was fun, getting to know the other 7 (?) more couples and their stories. The covered topics were expectations of the PMC course, and also between the couple.

We listed out what we expect from our partner, and what we THINK our partner expect from us! Interesting stuff. Looking forward to .. next week’s class.

Which reminds me .. we’ve gotta finish our assignment.

Yes. It’s a course with assignments. Not too difficult though. Hehe.

enjoy courtship first

A couple of weekends ago, Liz was talking to Kim Ann who encouraged us to enjoy courtship first and not go for PMC yet.

I don’t know. Everyone’s seems to have the impression that there isn’t or it isn’t possible to have courtship .. in the process of marriage .. or in the marriage itself. It’s odd.

Maybe things change so much when people get married that .. they feel that there’s no courtship. On contrary, I still see married couples who still enjoy themselves the same, probably more (since they’re married .. ya know .. *wink) than some unmarried couples that I know.

Maybe Kim Ann and Kenneth are coming from the POV where they got together quite late, and probably didn’t have much time to court.

I don’t know. There’s so much more to learn.

sharing deeper stuff with Ken

Was over at Ken and KimAnn’s place “secretly” .. hehe .. and told Kenneth about the ring and some plans I had in my mind. He was a little (like .. literally little ya?) apprehensive .. and suggested that I propose according to .. how events unfurl rather than be bound to a date for the proposal.

PMC for the young adults will prolly start in April, in which I think Liz and I will enrol for it. With some plans in place for me to save money this year, hopefully, by mid next year .. we’ll be married.

030609 sound like a good date? 3rd of June, 2009. When faced with the question,”What are your resolutions for this year?”, I’d reply ..

To save RM12,000.

Or if I can’t .. at least RM10,000. Be practical.

By God’s grace and provision la .. ya?

Sacrificing a comfortable ride with one that’ll save me RM1,000 a month.

For you, love. Because I love you.

spiritual mentors

Liz and I spoke to Kim Ann and Kenneth yesterday. It was odd, cause we both had the desire to talk to them .. but wasn’t really prepared. I was busy at work and we decided quite promptly .. I guess we have talked about getting spiritual mentors once .. but haven’t really gotten down to it.

KimAnn and Kenneth were very receiving of the idea of being overseers, and as guidance. While we were talking, Liz and I found that we were quite similar to them .. in a general sense. Our goals, and values, and most importantly .. our desire to honour God in our relationship and make a difference in the generations. It was freaky .. at one point .. and I got stressed out. I guess it was also my unpreparedness when we approached them.

But .. I searched deeper within myself and found that I am not ready yet. It’s been a long time since I’ve subjected myself to such direct mentorship, and it’ll take a little getting used to. I can foresee that Kenneth might be a little headstrong with his thoughts .. and .. I don’t know how I’ll be able to take that in .. but ..

I’ll try.

I’m not perfect. Neither is he. Neither is anyone else. But with God’s grace and strength, things will be okay.

pre-marital counselling

I asked Liz,”When’s the next pre-marital counselling session ah?“

She said,”I don’t know ..” and gave me that sheepish smile I love so much.

I think it’s just about time to find out if we are okay for marriage. I mean, from the onstart, we’ve made the commitment to the relationship that one day we will finally be married to each other, but it still requires working towards it and not just assume everything will fall into place.

Especially expectations of each other. I’ve heard that pre-marital counselling (PMC) helps couples know one another better, deal with issues that might arise in the future .. which is cool. But .. I don’t want us to just enrol in PMC and finish it. I hope to have a godly couple overseeing us not just through PMC but in life’s decisions that Liz and I make as a couple .. it’ll be good to be accountable also!

I’ve got Kenneth and Kim Ann in mind, but haven’t spoken to Liz about it. Maybe soon, on separate accounts. I think she’s quite comfortable with Kim Ann. Which is a good sign.

Oh Lord, much guidance needed.